


little do you know

by emilia_kaisa



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Cancer, Doctor/Patient, F/M, Falling In Love, Hospitalization, Hospitals, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6188278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilia_kaisa/pseuds/emilia_kaisa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lincoln devoted his life to saving people and he was sure that he was just fine on his own. But one day he met Daisy Johnson and since that moment his life was never the same again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. how i'm breaking while you fall asleep

**Author's Note:**

> I'm crazy. I've just posted the last chapter of one of my fics and I was about to study a little and then 'screw it all, write more!'. So here we are again... (with a ridiculous plot and bunch of mistakes, I never find enough time to check my awful grammar).  
> Expect a lot of pain. They're going to suffer A LOT. You've been warned.  
> Oh, and please, pay some attention to the dates. And I know close to nothing about hospitals, I'll do some research so please, be easy on me :)
> 
> ('Little do you know' by Alex & Sierra)

 

** January the 9 th 2016, 5.23 pm  **

****

_ Open your eyes, Daisy. _

The voice was muffled, like it was coming from far away. She wished she could open her eyes to see the person that was calling her but he wasn’t able to do that, darkness still ovewhelming her like a coffin, alienating her from everything and everyone.

_ Please, wake up. _

The voice was familiar and strange at the same time but still she couldn’t connect it with anyone. But the hankering she could hear was making him think that it was someone who really cared about her. 

Buf why she couldn’t remember that person?

_ Please. _

The voice was louder and louder in her ears, her mind not so blurred anymore.

She felt a soft touch on her wrist and the sensation was again a mix of familiarity and foreignness.

And suddenly she was able to open her eyes a little, a strike of light blinding her for a moment. She saw a white ceiling with bright lamps and it took her a while to realize that she was in a hospital, but she had no idea why. 

She heard a quiet sob on her right and she managed to turn her head a little.

There was a young man, sitting on a chair next to her bed. His head was lowered and she couldn’t see his face but she could see that he had bright hair that could use a haircut.

Suddenly he looked right at her and his filled with tears eyes widened. He gasped quietly and squeezed her hand a little harder.

There was so much kindness in his face.

But she had no idea who he was.

* * *

** June the 3 rd 2015, 9.03 am  **

****

It was Lincoln’s third week in the new hospital but he was already feeling pretty good. It was smaller than the previous one he had worked in and the staff was undoubtedly nicer. Jemma, who was smiling to him from across the corridor was the best example of that.

‘Good morning.’ she said cheerfully, like she hadn’t just started her second shift in a row ‘Oh, is this for me?’

Lincoln just smiled and handed her a paper cup of tea. Jemma was English and despised coffee which was totally understandable for him. Coffee was gross.

‘You’re an angel.’ Jemma said and took a sip. 

‘Can’t deny.’ he shrugged his shoulders and she chuckled. 

‘How was the night?’ Lincoln asked and Jemma sighed.

‘I had one terrible surgery, seven hours, but I stole some sleep after that.’

‘Good.’

Jemma opened her mouth to say something but then she glanced over Lincoln’s shoulder and he saw shock on her face. She moved quickly, leaving him without a word almost running to the end of the corridor. Lincoln turned his head, surprised, to see what had caused such a weird behaviour. He saw Jemma talking with a slim girl in dark clothes. He didn’t know her, but Jemma's hand was on the girl’s shoulder and they were looking to be pretty close.

Lincoln didn’t want to interrupt them so he was watching them talking for a moment and then Jemma grabbed the girl’s wrist and dragged her somewhere. He would like to find out what it was all about but he had patients to take care of, so he threw his empty cup to a trash can and headed to an oncology branch.

When he had been in a med school he hadn’t been thinking about being an oncologist. He had wanted to be a pediatrist but when his mother had got cancer he had known that he would do anything to help the others get through that. Watching her dying, day after day, had been the worst experience in his life. 

But in the end, it had made him stronger so he could face that ilness over and over again, doing all in his power to save the others. 

His round went well so some time later he was heading to the cafeteria, dreaming about another cup of tea. Yes, he was addicted, he wasn’t denying that. He was almost there when he heard Jemma’s voice calling him. He turned around and saw that she was walking toward him quickly.

‘Hi, are you busy?’ she asked.

‘No.’ he said, watching her carefully. She was a bit more pale than usual and she was nervous, although she tried to hide it ‘Can I help you with something?’

‘Yes, actually.’ she stopped for a moment and he waited patienty until she spoke again ‘Could you look at something for me? It’s... important.’

‘Of course.’ Lincoln said because that was why he was there, to help.

‘Thanks. Can you go to the office with me?’

‘Sure.’

Lincoln attentively read all the files and watched the x- rays. When he finished he sighed quietly.

‘It doesn’t look good, I guess you know that.’ he said softly and Jemma nodded. She seemed to be calm but he could see that she was fisting her hands.

‘But I have to examine the patient to give a full diagnosis.’ he added and Jemma nodded again.

‘I know.’ she sighed and sat down in front of him.

‘Is everything okay?’ he asked gently. He could see that it wasn’t a normal case; Jemma was usually very professional but now she seemed to be very touched.

‘No, actually.’ she said. He didn’t push her, waiting for her to say something more.

‘She’s my friend.’ Jemma said quietly after a moment ‘My best friend. She learned about the tumor, I don’t know, three months ago.’ she stopped and Lincoln realized that she was probably talking about the girl he had seen with her a few hours earlier.

‘You know that people do strange things when they learn out about something like that. That doctor was an idiot too, saying her that her chancec were close to zero.’ Jemma gave him a weak smile ‘So she just packed her things and went to Alaska. She always wanted to go there.’ she let out a shaky breath and Lincoln spotted one single tear on her cheek ‘But she’s back and she’s determined to live. But I...’ a few more tears ran down her face and Lincoln put his hand on her shoulder, offering her a little comfort she needed.

And when Jemma calmed down, he spoke gently.

‘I’ll do my best, I promise.’ he said with a reassuring smile.

‘Thank you.’ Jemma said with a small smile ‘It means a lot.’

‘I can see her now if she’s still here, I have a few minutes to spare.’

Jemma stood up, her face not so sad anymore.

‘Yeah, I told her to wait.’

‘Great. What’s her name again?’

‘Daisy. Daisy Johnson.’


	2. i'm still haunted by the memories

 

 

 

Lincoln’s first thought was totally unprofessional because  _ she’s absolutely beautiful _ shouldn’t be a first imression during a meeting with a pacient.

Her body was well trained and slim and from the outside Lincoln almost couldn’t see any signs of illness that was burning her from inside. But he noticed that her face was pale and her hair was think and weak. But at the same time her eyes were full of strenght and determination and he immediately understood that she wasn’t a quitter.

‘Hi, I’m dr Campbell.’ he greeted her and he immediately felt stupid under her gaze. It was always weidr, to be per  _ doctor  _ with people his age but that was how things were working.

‘Daisy Johnson.’ she said, her voice steady. She wasn’t smiling and her arms were crossed on her chest but Lincoln felt that it wasn’t who she was. There was warmness and kindness hidden in her eyes but he understood why she was acting like that. He had seen so many other patients and he knew that it was just easier that way, to built a wall and not let people enter. 

‘I’ve seen your files but I’d like to run a few more tests to make sure that I can find the best treatment for you.’

She nodded quietly in response.

** June the 10 th 2015, 10.53pm **

Lincoln sighed quietly and put down Daisy’s files. He had seen worse cases but that one wasn’t the easiest one too because when it was about brain- it was never going smoothly.

He went to his small kitchen and made himself some tea. He usually was bringing work home and he didn’t mind spending his free time that way. He didn’t have anything better to do anyway. 

Lincoln was used to being alone. His mom had died a week after his eighteenth birthday and since that day he was living on his own. His mother’s sister was living in Miami and had offered him a room in her house but he hadn’t take it. Lonelyness was safer.

He was good at it- at being alone and hiding his feelings. It was immportant in his job, to not get too involved, not to get sucked in and overwhelmed by reality.

Lincoln sighed and got back to the files waiting for him on a table.

‘Chemotherapy.’ Daisy echoed and Lincoln nodded.

They were in the hospital again and she was looking at him exactly the same way as a few days before. 

Her gaze was hard and concentrated on him and again he couldn’t guess what he was thinnking.

‘I know it sounds scary but...’

‘Maybe a little.’ she cut him off with a small smirk ‘But I trust you, doctor.’

Oh, he knew that she was a tough one.

Lincoln was heading to see one of his patients when he spotted Jemma a few metres away.

‘Hi.’ he greeted her and she smiled in response.

‘Hi.’

‘Um, I have a question.’ he said, unsure if he should ask her about it. ‘Listen, I’m just wondering if Daisy would like to talk with someone. I know that I shouldn’t be asking you...’

‘I understand.’ Jemma gave him a little smile ‘She can be a little intimidating with that cold stare she sometimes has.’

‘A little.’ Lincoln smiled with relief that she wasn’t angry at him ‘So what do you think?’

Jemma sighed and her smile faded.

‘I’d say it’s not a bad idea but I don’t know how’d she take that offer. She likes to deal with everything on her own, just like you.’

It was Lincoln’s time to sigh. 

‘Thank you, Jemma.’

** June the 14 th 2015, 5.41pm **

****

‘How are you feeling?’ Lincoln asked and Daisy shrugged her shoulders.

‘I’m fine.’

She was right after her first session of chemotherapy and she seemed to take it pretty well. But Lincoln knew that Daisy Johnson was a mystery he wasn’t able to solve.

‘Have you talked with dr May?’ he asked casually, looking at her attentively.

She narrowed her eyes only for a second but he had already knew the answer.

‘Okay then.’ he sighed ‘You know I can’t force you to do that but I think it’d be good for you, to talk with someone.’

‘I talk with you.’ she said quietly and once again he couldn’t read if she was being serious or not.

Daisy Johnson was a mystery and he wasn’t sure if he should try to solve it. There was something intimidating and magnetic about her and he could see it despite the fact that he had met her a few days earlier.

‘And I’ll be always here for you.’ Lincoln gave her a reassuring smile ‘But dr May can help you in the way that I can’t even try.’

Her eyes softened for a moment.

‘Okay.’ she said after a few seconds of silence ‘I guess I’ll talk with her.’

‘Good.’ 

* * *

 

** January the 9 th 2016, 5.30 pm **

****

‘Daisy?’ the man asked and she heard tears in his voice ‘Can you hear me?’

Her head was heavy and her throat was dry but she managed to nod quietly.

‘Where am I?’ she whispered, the words leaving her mouth with painful difficulty.

‘You’re in a hopsital.’ he said and she could see how much he was trying to keep his voice steady.

‘Do you remember why?’

She closed her eyes for a moment, trying so hard to remember why she was there, but her mind was blank. Her head hurt and she had no idea why.

The man swallowed heard and let out a deep breath.

‘Do you remember who I am?’ he asked and his voice was shaking a little.

Daisy focused on his face, trying to trigger something, a memory, a vision, anything. She was trying so hard but there was nothing she could hold on to.

‘I’m sorry.’ she whispered after a moment ‘I don’t...’ she felt tears gathering in her eyes because his eyes were full of pain and she just wanted to know why.

 


	3. i'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece

** June the 17 th 2015\. 2.30 pm **

Daisy looked at her reflection in a bathroom mirror. She looked the same as always but despite what all people were saying she knew that she had changed. Maybe they didn’t see that but she noticed how her skin was more pale than usual and how her eyes were tired, hair weaker with everyday.

Daisy had learned quickly that she could fully trust only herself. Because people were coming and going, leaving her broken and weak. 

‘Daisy, are you there?’ Fitz asked from behind the door, knocking quietly.

‘Yeah, give me a minute!’

Of course Fitz was the other story; they had been growing up together and he was like her brother, always there to catch her when she was falling. Without him she would be lost and he knew that, and that is wht he had never left. In high school she had met Jemma- a girl with wide smile and big heart and Daisy had thought that maybe she would never be alone again.

But then, at the age of twenty, she had met Grant Ward and had fallen in love for the first time. 

It all had ended violently, leaving her with scars that would never fully heal. 

Her sickness was making her vulnerable and weak and she hated that feeling so much. She had had enough pain in her life and she was sick of getting hurt. So in order to surviving she was bulding walls around herself, not letting anyone to get too close, because she had learned that being close had nothing to do with intimacy.

But Lincoln Campbell... he was different.

There was something about him that was making her trust him. Maybe it was the way he was smiling at her, gently but without pity. Or maybe it was about his eyes, where softness was covering something more, something she couldn’t see.

He was a mystery and she couldn’t help but try to solve it.

‘Daisy, we’re gonna be late!’

‘I’m coming, I’m coming!’

Fitz was waiting at her in their small corridor with car keys in his hand.

‘Seriously, we’re gonna be late.’ he sighed and she grinned.

‘Easy there, I’m ready to go. You’re only so impatient because you can’t wait to see Jemma.’

Fitz blushed a little but didn’t say anything and Daisy grinned even wider. It was so obvious that he had crush on Jemma- and vice versa- that it was painful to watch. She just couldn’t wait till the moment they would finally get together but they were totally oblivious to their feelings for each other.

‘Okay, let’s go.’

Doctor May was a beautiful woman with warm eyes and professional smile.

‘Daisy, I’m glad to finally meet you.’ she said and Daisy saw sparks of humor in her eyes ‘Doctor Campell would be happy to hear that you showed up.’

Daisy just nodded quietly. It was a bit weird when she had called Lincoln  _ doctor _ . Sure, Daisy was calling him during their conversations too but in her thoughts she was always calling him Lincoln. That name suited him.

‘So, I’ve heard you were in Alaska.’ dr May smiled and Daisy wanted to ask how did she know that but she decided that it didn’t matter. 

‘Yeah.’ she just said.

‘Why Alaska?’

Daisy shrugged her shoulders.

‘It was always my dream.’ 

‘Why?’ doctor May asked again and Daisy shifted in her chair ‘I guess it’s not because you’ve read  _ Into the wild _ ?’

‘No.’ Daisy chuckled quietly. She was feeling comfortable in her presence and she knew that she could be herself in front of her; and she was a psychologist, she would read her anyway ‘Okay, maybe a little.I’ve always felt kinda drawn there. I’ve seen so many photos and I always wished I could see it all with my own eyes, you know. That always was a symbol of freedom to me. There’s nothing mysterious about it.’

‘I understand.’ doctor May nodded ‘And what did your family say about it?’

‘I don’t have a family.’ she said, simply like that, like she had said so many times before ‘I’ve been raised in an orphanage.’ 

‘And your friends?’

‘All two of them.’ Daisy said, her voice a bit more bitter than she intended it to be ‘But I’m doing good on my own.’ she said and it almost didn’t feel like a lie.

Daisy left doctor May’s office feeling surprisingly light. She smiled to Fitz who was patiently waiting for her in a waiting room.

‘How was it?’ he asked and she shrugged her shoulders but her lips curled up a little.

‘It was fine. She’s really nice.’

‘That’s all?’ he raised his eyebrows.

‘Yes, that’s all. Have you seen Jemma?’ she changed a subject quickly and he shook his head. 

‘Nope, I haven’t, I was sitting here all the time. Wait...’ he glared over Daisy’s shoulder ‘But I see her now, right there.’

Daisy turned around and she saw Jemma, who was standing there with a sad smile on her face. She was talking with someone; Daisy was sure it was a man but she couldn’t see his face but there was something familiar in his silhouette. Jemma put her hand on his shoulder and then he turn a little and Daisy was able to see his face.

‘This is my doctor.’ she said and she couldn’t help but sound a bit surprised. 

‘It seems that they were in good terms.’ Fitz said and she thought that there was jealousy in his voice. 

But she could see that too, that look of comfort on Jemma’s face and little sad smile on Lincoln’s face.

Jemma glared over Lincoln’s shoulder and her face lit up when she spotted Daisy and Fitz. 

‘Hi guys.’ she said when she quickly made her way to them, with Lincoln a few steps behind her. ‘Daisy, I didn’t know you’d be here today.’

‘I had a meeting with doctor May.’ Daisy said and she noticed that Lincoln smiled a little at her words. 

‘Oh, that’s good, she’s amazing.’ Jemma said with a smile and then she turned her face to Fitz   
‘Fitz, this is my colleague, Lincoln Campbell. Lincoln, this is Leo Fitz, my friend.’

‘It’s nice to met you.’ Lincoln said politely as he shook Fitz’s hand.

‘Yeah, you too.’ Fitz answered and looked at Daisy ‘Do you want to go home?’

Daisy felt like she could hug him right now. He could read her so well only by looking at her and somehow he saw how tired she was. Chemotheraphy weakened her body and after such a long day she was dreaming about going to bed.

‘Yeah, I’d like to.’ she said and saw concern in Lincoln’s eyes.

‘How are you feeling? Is everything okay?’ he asked and she nodded quickly.

‘I’m just tired.’ 

‘You should rest more.’ he said and it sounded proffesional and friendly and for some reason that hit her hard.

‘Sure thing, doctor.’ Daisy said and he gave her a small smile in response. 

‘I’ll walk you to the car.’ Jemma said lightly and followed Daisy and Fitz to the exit. 

‘Do you know him well? Lincoln, I mean?’ Daisy asked because she couldn’t help herself.

‘Yes, I think so.’ Jemma answered ‘Well, I don’t know him very long but he’s a good guy.’ she said and then sighed quietly ‘Poor thing, he lost a patient today.’

‘Oh.’ that was all Daisy was able to say.  She suddenly realized how much he had to bear everyday without showing his emotions to the world, without asking anyone for help.

And she thought that maybe Lincoln Campbell wasn’t just different than the other people- maybe he was a bit like her. 

 

 


	4. i need a little more time

** July the 24th 2015, 5.03am **

 

Lincoln woke up early and couldn't fall asleep again. His troubles with sleeping had started with his mother illness; his sleep had been shallow because he had been living in fear that something could happen and he wouln't hear that. After her death things hadn't go back to normal but he had got used to it quickly.

He sighed quietly and get up. Sun was already up so his small apartment was filled with warm golden light. Lincoln really liked his place; it was his little fortress he could hide in and pretend that didn't need the world and the world didn't need him.

He had plenty of time till his shift so he decided to clean up his place a little. Who wouldn't like to polish floor at 6 am?

Around 9 am his phone rang, breaking a comfortable silence.

'Good morning, Lincoln.' his aunt's voice was warm and gentle 'Happy birthday, honey.'

'Thank you, aunt Sara.' he answered honestly; she was the only person who remembered his birthday. She was also the only person that really cared how was he doing.

'How are you? Have my you got my package already?' she asked and he smiled slightly.

'I'm fine and no, not yet. But I can't wait.'

Aunt Sara was sending him a birthday present every year- usually hand-made jumpers, which surprisingly weren't awful at all.

'I hope so.' she was quiet for a moment and then she spoke, her voice kind and warm 'Lincoln, I know it's plenty of time but... maybe you could try and visit us this Christmas? We missed you last year. So maybe you could switch with someone this year...'

'I'll try.' Lincoln said, feeling strange pressure in his chest.

'Great.' he could practically hear smile in her voice 'Call me sometimes, okay?'

'Sure.'

 

The thing was that Lincoln really loved aunt Sara, he really did. He was his only living family, she and her husband, and their children- his cousins. But the other thing was that they were living so far away- Portland and Miami couldn't be more far away. And every time he was visiting them he was finding it harder to leave. But Portland was his home, filled with memories of his happy childhood and his mother's smile. Lincoln had come to terms with her death a long time ago but still he couldn't find enough strength to leave it all behind.

 

He found a notification in his mailbox so he stopped by a post office on his way to work.

He was right; it was a jumper, a really nice orange one.

It smelled like home.

 

 

He met with Daisy right after her second session on chemotherapy. She was looking pale and tired but she was doing her best not to show that. Too bad that he was good at seeing what people didn’t want him to see. He also noticed that she was wearing a funny colorful scarf wrapped on her head and that it was looking surprisingly good on her. But then again he was sure that she would look good in anything.

Lincoln admired how how strong she was. He didn’t think he had ever met someone as tough and determined as her, maybe except his mother. His mom had always been strong, so much stronger than him. She had been his everything and she had wanted to live for him, she had been fighting so much.

But it hadn’t been enough.

‘Are you okay?’ he heard Daisy’s voice and that snapped him out of his thoughts.

‘I’m fine. I’m sorry about that.’ he said quickly; he was cursing himself for acting so unprofessional. He should be focused on his patient’s healt an nothing else.

Daisy didn’t say anything, she was just looking at him with unreadable gaze.

 

 

Lincoln decided to take a small break so he left his office righ after Daisy. Her friend- Fitz, he reminded himself- was waiting for her and Lincoln wondered briefly if they were just friends. Once again, umprofessional. What was happening to him? He knew that her life wasn’t his business so why he couldn’t stop thinking about it?

‘Lincoln?’ Jemma suddenly appeared by his side ‘Do you have Jack Allen’s files? I can find them anywhere and I’d like to look at them at home.’

‘Um, yeah. On my desk.’

‘I’ll grab them, okay?’

She entered his office, flashing a smile to Fitz and Daisy.

‘Oh, I think I left my phone inside. Fitz, would you be so nice?’ Daisy asked innocently and Fitz nodded.

‘Sure.’

When he and Jemma were both inside Lincoln’s office she quickly made his way to him.

‘Lock them.’ she hissed quietly and he blinked in surprise.

‘What?’ he asked, confused.

‘They have to get togehter or I’ll go crazy.’

Lincoln knew that it was a bad idea but at the same time he could tell that Jemma really liked Fitz; she was talking about him a lot and even Lincoln noticed that. And Daisy was looking at him with hope in her eyes and for a moment he forgot how to say no.

So he did it.

‘Let’s go.’ Daisy grabbed his sleeve and almost dragged him to a cafeteria.

 

She was sitting in front of him, calmly sipping her tea.

‘What?’ she asked and he realized that he was staring.

‘Nothing.’ he shook his head ‘I just feel kinda bad for that.’

‘Thay’ll thank us.’ Daisy said with a serious face ‘They’ll probably name their first son after you.’

Lincoln chuckled quietly at her words and Daisy smiled slightly. It wasn’t a twitch of her lips or a sarcastic smirk he knew- it was a genuine, kind smile and Lincoln just had to smile too.

 

 

Lincoln unlocked the door fifteen minutes later and all doubts about his actions went away at the sight of Jemma’s blush and wide smile. And Fitz... well, he looked like he had just survived a ride on a roller coaster. A really great roaller coaster.

‘That was a high school move.’ Jemma said with a grin, turning her face to Daisy ‘And I can’t believe you convinced Lincoln to help you.’

‘I promised that you’d name your kid after him.’

Fitz chuckled on her words.

‘That’s fair.’ he said with and smiled at Lincoln who returned a smile ‘Okay, Daisy, time to go, we can’t disturb them even more.’

‘Yup, sure.’ Daisy said and moved a bit closer to Lincoln.

‘Happy birthday, doctor.’ she said quietly with a smile.

‘How do you know?’ he asked, surprised.

‘I’ve seen a card on your desk.’ she said simply and then turned around, following Fitz to the exit.

 

Lincoln was watching her go and he realized that Daisy Johnson was beautiful in every single way.

 

* * *

 

**January the 9th 2016, 5.35pm**

 

''It's okay.' the man said but she could see in his eyes that he was lying.

'Who are you?' she asked 'Are you a doctor?' she had a feeling that she should know him, that not remembering him was the worst thing in the world.

He was silent for a moment.

'Yeah, I am.'

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm right after watching 3x12 and wow, I'm full of feelings! What about you?


	5. underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside

 

**August the 19 th  2015, 4 pm **

 

Daisy washed her teeth, avoiding to look in a bathroom mirror. She didn’t want to see how bad she was looking, how hollow her eyes were and how skinny she was. She didn’t want to see what the tumor was doing with her, how her own body was betraying her with every day.

She knew that she should leave her apartment soon; she had a meeting with doctor May at 5 pm but she was feeling so tired already. She glared outside; the sky was clouded and Daisy really regretted that Fitz had had to leave for a science conference to Seattle and that Jemma had flown home for a few weeks. She could really use a ride because she was getting tired so easily. She had went to a store earlier that morning and she had had to take a few breaks during her way back on a third floor.

That was pissing her off and making her want to cry but she was trying so much to be stronger than that. She had always been strong, unbreakable and she didn’t want that stupid little thing on her brain turn her to someone vulnerable and weak.

She didn’t want to become someone she wasn’t.

 

 

‘How are you feeling?’ doctor May asked politely and Daisy felt anger building up inside her.

‘How should I feel?’ she asked, her voice maybe a bit too agressive, but May’s face stayed calm and unchanged. She was probably used to angry and unstable patients.

‘I’m so tired of that question.’ Daisy contiuned because one she started she couldn’t stop herself ‘because how should I feel? I’m dying.’ she said and the words were cold and heavy.

But that was the truth and she knew it; she was dying, slowly, every day, and she couldn’t do anything about it. It was another thing in her life she couldn’t make a decision about.

Doctor May was looking at her all the time and her eyes were full of warmness and understanding.

‘It’s okay to be mad, Daisy.’ she said and Daisy shivered slightly at her words ‘It okay not to be okay.’

Daisy felt tears gathering in her eyes but she blinked them away because she was so much stronger that that. And deep inside she knew that if she started to cry she would probably never stop.

 

 

Daisy left doctor May’s office a little bit after 6 pm and she shivered when the cold air touched her skin. She could only imagine how cold it was outside; she was pretty sure that it was raining. In August. Awesome.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself for being exposed to the world. She was still shaking a little bit inside; doctor May had been kind and professional as always, and she had tried to help her so bad. But that time Daisy felt like it wasn’t enough, like she was slowly starting to fall apart, breaking into a million pieces.

And she was so, so scared of breaking down.

‘Daisy?’ she heard a familiar voice and she raised her head quickly.

Lincoln was standing in front of her with concern in his eyes and the smallest of smiles in his lips.

‘Hi.’ she tried to smile and she could tell that she failed miserably.

‘You’re not going to walk.’ he said and it wasn’t a question.

‘I can catch a bus.’ she said but it sounded unconvincing even for her.

‘No way.’ he shook his head ‘I’m giving you a ride.’

She didn’t say no; she just nodded, grateful.

 

His car was clean, with a familiar scent of mint; she sighed quietly with relief when she rested her head on the soft support.

She was so, so tired.

‘Where to?’ Lincoln asked simply.

Daisy gave him an adress and he started the engine. The raindrops were hitting the car’s windows, making a familiar, calm sound.

‘I miss the ocean.’ she said quietly and it took her a moment to realize that she had said that out loud.

‘Ocean?’ Lincoln repeated as if he wanted to know if he had heard correctly.

‘Yeah.’ she nodded ‘It’s beautiful in it’s lonelyness.’ those were Hunter’s words, not hers. He had taught her the language of silence and had helped her to understand who she was and what she wanted. But he stayed in Alaska and she was here, in rainy Portland, in her doctor’s car, and she just wanted to see the ocean, maybe for the last time in her life.

She closed her eyes, just for a second.

 

When she woke up it wasn’t raining anymore. She blinked a few times and then she realized that they weren’t in the city anymore.

‘Where are we?’ she asked, turning her head to Lincoln. He glared at her and then he focused on a road in front of him.

‘You wanted to see the ocean.’ he said, just like that, and her heart stopped for a second.

A part of her wanted to tell him to turn around but she knew that it wouldn’t be right.

So insted of doing that she looked at him, at the man she barely knew but who somehow could read her so well. She simply couldn’t believe that he was driving to the shore just because she had mentioned that before.

They were sitting in silence and Daisy didn’t mind it at all; she was used to it and it was familiar and comfortable.

It was nice, to just sit and watch how the landscape was changing.

 

 

They reached Cannon Beach a little bit after 8 pm. Lincoln parked the car near to a beach and when Daisy left the car the cool wind hit her hard, making her shiver.

‘Here.’ she heard and a second later she felt a soft fabric on her shoulders and she realized that Lincoln gave her his jacket. She turned around to look at him and she noticed that he was standing there just in his t-shirt.

‘No.’ she said, immediately feeling guilty. She tried to give it back to him but he shook his head and took a step back.

‘I’m fine.’ he said and his eyes stopped her.

 

The sunset was bright and colorful and Daisy just couldn’t take her eyes off it. The sound of salt water, the wind, the sky- it was all perfect and she couldn’t ask for more.

‘Thank you.’ she said quietly, turning her face to Lincoln.

He just nodded, a small smile on his lips.

Daisy wanted to tell him how much it meant to her; she wanted also ask why he was so generous and kind but somehow she couldn’t find proper words in her head.

‘We should go back.’ she said instead.

They made it back to the car and Daisy stopped, taking Lincoln’s jacket off and giving it back to him.

Their hands touched briefly and she shivered slightly but she said to herself that it was because of the cold.

‘Are you okay?’ he asked with concern and that reminded her violently that he was her doctor. The only relatiosnhip they had was a professional one, so what was he doing here?

‘Why did you do that?’ she asked and she wondered when had she lost the sharpness of her voice and distance in her eyes, becausce now her voice was quiet and weak.

She didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of him but the kindness in his eyes was making the walls around her crumbling down and she couldn’t help it.

And maybe she didn’t want to.

‘You should get to the car.’ Lincoln said, not answering her question ‘It’s cold.’

She looked into his eyes for a second.

 

Daisy had never asked for anything but in that moment she wished for more.

 

 


	6. i know you're hurting while i'm sound asleep

 

**September the 11 th  2015, 4.55 pm **

 

‘Shit.’ Lincoln muttered when a mug slipped out from his wet hands. Luckily it felt back to a sink and didn’t broke. It was his mothers favourite and he wouldn’t forgive himself if it would broke because of his clumsiness.

It was surprising because he always was the calm and attentive one, he had never destroyed or broke anything. But something had changed not so long time ago what was making him lose his focus and letting his thoughts to drift away.

And the worst part about it was the fact the he knew why it was happening.

Lincoln sighed quietly and made his way to a sofa, sitting on it heavily and letting out a deep breath.

He closed his eyes for a moment, knowing that he should finally face what was unavoidable but he just wanted to fool himself for one short moment.

Then, miraculosuly, his phone rang, sharply interrupting the silence of his apartment. He glared at the screen and he smiled slightly.

‘Hi, aunt Sara.’

‘Hello, honey.’ she was always calling him that and he kinda like it. It was familiar and warm and he needed to heart that softness in her voice from time to time ‘How are you?’

‘I’m fine.’ it sounded a bit fake so he added quickly ‘But I’m a bit tired, the work’s crazy right now.’

‘You can’t spend all days at work.’ aunt Sara said seriosusly and he hear concern in her voice ‘And speaking of work, have you asked for free Christmas.’

‘I’ll talk with on of my colleagues tommorow.’ he promised. He would have to ask doctor Coulson to take a Christmas shift but he was a pretty nice man so he would probably agree.

‘That’s great.’ his aunt hesitated for a moment before she spoke again ‘You know, you can bring someone if you want, we have plenty of space.’

Lincoln’s heart clenched painfully in his chest as a sudden thought crossed his mind.

‘Not this Christmas.’ he said, trying to make his words sound lightly.

Aunt Sara was quiet for a long moment.

‘I’m worried about you, Lincoln.’ she said quietly and her words made him feel guilty.

‘I’m okay, really.’ he said quickly, trying to sound convincing ‘I promise I’ll try to come for Christmas.’

‘Okay.’ she said quietly and he knew that she was still worried and that thought laid heavy on his heart ‘Just take care of yourself.’

‘I will, I promise.’

 

He couldn’t fall asleep that night. It was nothing new for him so he was just staring at the city lights, his thoughts clear and sharp.

Lincoln knew what he had to do but it was so hard to tell himself to do that.

He got up and opened a window, letting cold air to cool his hot skin. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, suddenly ready to face the truth.

The truth was that he couldn’t stop thinking about Daisy Johnson.

She was not only beautiful and strong; she was also kind and sensitive, he could see that despite that fact that she wanted to hide that from him. She was incredible, in every single way.

And when he had taken her to see the ocean he had everything had got even more complicated.

Lincoln opened his eyes, staring at the sky above him.

The truth was that he cared about her too much.

And he wished he didn’t.

He wished he didn’t have to feel that heavy pressure in his chest, he wished he could stop to think about the way she was smiling, the way she had been looking at him when they had been standing on that beach.

But a little voice in the back of his head was whispering that he was lost since the day he had met her.

 

‘Good morning, Lincoln.’ Coulson greeted him when Lincoln opened his office’s door.

‘Doctor Coulson.’ Lincoln smiled slightly at the older man.

‘Do you need something?’ Coulson asked with a nice smile on his face.

‘Actually, yes.’ Lincoln took a few steps and stood in front of Coulson ‘I wanted to ask if you... could take a Christmas shist this year? I know it’s early but I’d like to visit my family in Miami...’

‘Miami?’ Coulson asked with a bit of curiosity in his voice ‘Your parents live there?’

‘No, my aunt and her family.’ Lincoln explained and the look on Coulson’s face told him that he understood.

‘Of course I can.’ the mad smiled at him ‘I don’t have anyone to celebrate with so I’m happy that you won’t be alone.’

‘Thank you.’ Lincoln said honestly but then he hesitated.

 _Come on, say it_ he told himself but his throat was suddenly dry.

‘Anything else?’ Coulson asked, noticing his hesitation.

‘Yes.’ Lincoln said with difficulty ‘I... Could you take care of one of my patients?’

‘Why?’ Colulson asked and Lincoln could see concern in his eyes ‘Do you have to much...’

‘No.’ Lincoln cut him off quicly ‘It just...’ he took a deep breath and looked the other man in the eyes ‘I’m just trying to stay professional.’

‘Oh.’ Coulson looked at him with compassion in his eyes and Lincoln swallowed hard ‘Of course I’ll take care of her.’ he said and Lincoln smiled weakly.

‘Thank you. I’ll bring you the files.’ he turned around when the other man’s voice stopped him.

‘Lincoln?’

‘Yes?’ he turned around and met Coulson’s sad smile.

‘I’m sorry.’

Lincoln was sorry too but he didn’t say anything because he knew that his voice would fail him. His heart was beating wildly in his chest and he tried so hard not to think about Daisy’s eyes.

Lincoln knew that he had to do it for her own good but it still tasted like a betrayal.

He just hoped that he didn’t mean as much for her as she meant for him.

 

 

**September the 14 th  2015, 3.30 pm **

Daisy sat and calmly and let a nurse to do her job. She had a book on her lap; she liked to read during her sessions of chemotherapy, she liked to get lost in someone eleses life.

The nurse gave her a warm smile and left but Daisy didn’t open her book, not yet. She knew that Lincoln would come soon to check on her, he always did.

So she was waiting for him.

A few minutes later the door opened and her heart quickened only to drop a second later when she saw a man, maybe a bit over 50, entering the room. She was a bit surprised when he stopped right in front of her.

‘Excuse me, Daisy Jonhnson?’ he had a nice smile and kind voice but she felt a sting of concern.

‘Yes.’

‘I’m Phil Coulson, I’m your new doctor.’ he said and her heart stopped from a moment.

‘What happened to Lin... doctor Campbell?’ she asked, words leaving her mouth with difficulty.

Doctor Coulson looked her in the eyes and she saw a shadow of compassion and sympathy in his gaze.

‘He asked me to take care of you.’ he said and he had no idea that his words were like a sharp knifes, leaving her wounded and breathless.

 


	7. all my mistakes are slowly drowning me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention pain?

 

** September the 14 th 2015, 6 pm **

****

The whole world was quiet, voices around her muffled and distanced. But inside Daisy’s head was a hurricane, a storm of emotions that were flooding her body, thoughts screaming in her head, demanding answers.

She practically didn’t notice Jemma until she heard her voice in front of her.

‘Okay, Daisy, I can grive you home, I just have too...’ her smile faded when she saw Daisy’s face ‘What happened? Are you okay?’

‘No.’ Daisy said shortly, not even trying to pretend that she was fine ‘Have you seen Lincoln today?’ she asked because she had to see him, had to talk to him. She needed to know what was happening.

‘He has a day off.’ Jemma said, watching her carefully ‘But what...’

‘Do you know his adress?’ Daisy cut her off quickly.

Jemma was watching her for a moment with something strange in her eyes and then she nodded.

‘Yeah.’

‘Could you take me there? Please.’

‘Sure.’ that was all Jemma said and Daisy was grateful that she wasn’t asking questions bacuse even she didn’t know the answers.

Jemma stayed in her car but Daisy still could see concern in her eyes; she tried to smile but her heart was beating too fast and it was suddenly a bit hard to breathe. 

She was confused and sad and angry, so, so angry. She needed answers, she needed to hear and explenation for that poor joke. 

She finally reached his door and knocked, maybe a bit too loudly, but she really didn’t care.

Lincoln opened quickly and his eyes widened when he saw her.

‘What...’ he didn’t finish as she made her way past him, entering his apartment and immediately turning to look at him. 

Seeing him only made things worse.

He was looking at her with that mix of concern and confusion and guilt and for a moment she hesitated. Maybe it wasn’t like that, maybe he didn’t hand her case to someone else, maybe that was one big misunderstanding.

‘I met doctor Coulson today.’ she said, trying to keep her voice calm, clinging to small pieces of hope that she had left.

Lincoln shifted, clearly feeling a bit uncomfortable.

‘He’s a great doctor.’ he said finally, avoiding to look her in the eyes.

‘Better than you?’ Daisy asked, crossing her arms on her chest.

He ran his hand through his hair, only creating even more mess.

‘For sure he has more experience...’ he tried and Daisy felt anger rushing through her veins.

‘Could you stop with this bullshit?’ she asked angrily, taking a step toward him ‘Why did you do that?’

His eyes finally met hers and in that moment she understood that it wasn’t a misunderstanding.

‘Why did you left me?’ she asked, louder than before and something like pain flashed through Lincoln’s face but she really didn’t care, too lost in her own feelings.

‘You don’t want me to be your failure?’ she asked, her voice loud and bitter ‘I’m hopeless, so you just dumped me?’

‘No, Daisy, it’s not like that...’ he started but she cut him off quickly.

‘Then why?’ she took another step in his direction.

She wanted him to say that she was wrong but he just looked at her and his eyes were bright and sad.

‘It’s not like that.’ Lincoln repeated weakly and her heart dropped.

They were standing in heavy silence and Daisy realized that she had been wrong about him.

He wasn’t different; he was just like everybody else, leaving her behind and letting down. 

And she understood that she had been fooling herself all the time, that she was just like anybody else for him, nothing more than a pacient on the verge of dying.

‘You know, I thought that you cared about me, only a little.’ she said quietly ‘Guess I was wrong.’

She moved past him and left his apartment, almost running down the stairs. 

He didn’t stop her.

She started to cry in the car; she didn’t want to but she didn’t have enoug strength left.

Maybe she had been strong and unbreakable for too long.

The tears were blinding her and a feeling of betrayal was blocking her throat and burning her from inside. She hadn’t felt so bad for a very long time and she didn’t know why that time hurt so much. She should be immune after all shit that had happened to her, why that time it was different?

She heard Jemma’s concerned voice but she couldn’t focus on her words. Everything was muffled and blurred and everything hurt so much and she wasn't even sure why.

** September the 15 th 2015, 2.15pm **

****

Light was too bright and sounds were too loud in his ears and Lincoln knew that he would need a fair ammount of tea to survive the day when all he wanted to do was to find a quiet corner and sleep, and forget about his life for a moment.

He changed slowly into his apron when he heard a sound of opening door and a moment later Jemma entered the locker room. She stopped when she saw him, looking unsure.

‘You look terrible.’ she said after a second and he almost smiled.

‘I know.’

Jemma looked at him and he noticed how hard she was trying not to judge him. 

‘I’m sorry, I just have to ask.’ she said and Lincoln didn’t blame her for that ‘What have you done?’

‘Is she okay?’ he asked instead answering the question; he didn’t have enough strength and will to tell her the truth.

‘Not really.’ she said quietly and his heart clenched painfully.

‘What do you mean?’ he managed to ask.

Jemma looked at him and there was some strange sandness in her small smile.

‘That was the second time I saw her crying.’ she sad and his heart stopped.

He didn’t know what to say, how to explain his behaviour to Jemma. As a doctor, she would probably understand but as Daisy’s friend- he wasn’t so sure anymore. So it was just another thing he had to hide from everyone. 

 


	8. oh wait, just wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an awful English test today and grrr, so I had to write to make myself feel better.  
> I'm sorry but I can't edit this chapter, I'm using my sister's computer and this machine hates me. Okay, I'm not complaining anymore.

**October the 9th 2015, 12.50 am**

Bed became Daisy's favourite place on Earth. She could spend all days there, hidden under blankets and pillows. Sometimes she was reading or watching sad movies but mostly she was just laying with her eyes closed, trying to find a way to fall asleep.  
She didn't give up, that wasn't a thing she could do. It was just harder, to force herself to get up and go to the hospital with a knowledge that she wouldn't see Lincoln. Daisy wasn't sure why she was hurt so much by him. They weren't friends, they were almost strangers if you wouldn't count their doctor- patients relation. But she used to think that they had something in common, that they were somehow connected.  
But now it was clear that she had been wrong.  
She heard a quiet knock and a second later Fitz opened the door, a mug of tea in his hand.  
'Here.' he put it carefully on a small table next to her bed.  
'Thanks.' Daisy muttered, expecting him to go but then he sat next to her.  
'Daisy' he said softly and she immediately knew where he was going 'you can't hide here forever.'  
'I can and I will.' she said but it didn't sound like she wanted it to sound. It was uncomvincing, even for her own ears.  
Fitz shook his head and sighed quietly.  
'Daisy.' he said once again, his voice serious 'I can't stand to see you like that.'  
He said it quietly and gently but Daisy felt like he had just punched her. She realized how selfish she was, too lost in her own pain to notice how Fitz was feeling. He was always there for her, since childhood, and he never let her down. They had been through a lot of shit and he deserved so much more than that.  
'I'm sorry.' Daisy whispered, putting her head on his shoulder.  
'It's okay.' Fitz said quietly, wrapping one arm around her protectively 'We'll be okay.'

Doctor May noticed that something was different and she asked about it, of course. Daisy didn't tell her all the truth, she couldn't do that. She just said that she had lost someone important and that hurt more that she could ever expected.

 

**October the 15th 2015, 9.25 pm**  
  


Lincoln closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to ignore the pain in his head. He still had over and hour to the end of his shift, he had to stay focus. Deep inside Lincoln admitted that he was working too much and not sleeping enough, trying to keep his hands and mind busy.  
It was working, sometimes.  
'Wow, Lincoln, you look like shit.' he heard a familiar voice so he forced himself to open his eyes.  
'Good evening to you too, Bobbi.' he said and a blonde surgeon smiled.  
'Go to bed, get some sleep.'  
'Still have an hour left.' Lincoln said, shaking his head.  
Bobbi rolled her eyes at his words.  
'Move your ass or I'll drag you out of here. You look like you couls use a hospitalization yourself.'  
Lincoln sighed quietly and stood up; he knew that fighting with Bobbi was pointless and he wanted to live a little longer.  
'See you tomorrow, Bobbi.'  
'Don't you dare to show here tomorrow.' she yelled after him and he smiled weakly to himself.

'No more 24 hours shifts.' he muttered to himself, looking at the floor and forcing his feet to move.  
And then he saw Jemma only a few metres away. She was wearing her casual clothes, not an apron, and he felt a sting of worry when he noticed concern on her face.  
'Jemma, what are you doing here?' he asked, trying to ignore cold fear that was building up inside him.  
She hesitated for a moment before she spoke.  
'It's Daisy, she fainted.' Jemma clearly noticed how his face paled because she added quietly 'But she's okay, she's awake. You know how it's during chemotherapy.'  
Lincoln just nodded silently and felt how a strange weakness overwhelming his body. The exhaustion mixed with all the feelings- first fear, now relief- and it hit him with all its power.  
'Are you okay? You should sit down.' Jemma grabbed his arm and led him to a nearest chair. Lincoln sat up and hid his face in his hands, focusing on his breathing. He was so, so tired.  
When he finally looked at Jemma he found out that her eyes were sad and concerned.  
'You can't do that to yourself.' she said and her words were gentle and honest.  
'I'm fine.' he said, like always, and Jemma shook her head.  
'You're just like Daisy, to stubborn to say what you really feel.'  
He didn't answer, to focused on glaring at his palms.  
'You should talk with her.' Jemma said quietly and Lincoln shook his head.  
'There's nothing to talk about.' he said 'She doesn't need me... She doesn't need that.' he added quickly.  
He could say that Jemma didn't believe him but she didn't say anything and he was grateful for that. Silence was letting him believe that everything would be fine.  
Someday.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Easter everyone who celebrate! I'm going to visit my family and there'll be probably no wi-fi but I'll try to uptade as soon as possible. Thank you for reading!


	9. i'll wait, i'll wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miraculously, I found a small spot with a wi-fi connection, so here we go! Hope you enjoy! (And I'm sorry it's so short, but I have to focus on my university a bit more.) (And I still can't edit,grrr, why.)

**November the 21st 2015, 10.11 am**

 

Daisy woke up around 10 am but she didn't get up immediately; she let herself to lay there for a little longer, to stay in a safe heat of her bed. But she knew she couldn't stay in there forever so after a few minutes she got up, a quiet sigh escaping her lips.  
She went to a bathroom, taking her time under a showers and letting hot water to caress her tired body. She wasn't feeling so bad but her ilness was constantly reminding her how weak she was. Daisy still hated that feeling of being hopeless but she wasn't so mad anymore; she was slowly coming to terms with her condition.  
She left the bathroom with tea on her mind; she was about to enter the kitchen when she suddenly heard her name and she froze. In the kitchen were Fitz and Jemma- she probably had came when Daisy had been under a shower. Daisy knew that it was bad to listen what they were saying but her curiosity was stronger.  
'How's Daisy feeling?' Jemma asked and Daisy heard Fitz's quiet sigh.  
'Better. But still not so good as she used to.'  
They were silent for a moment and they only sound Daisy could hear was her own heartbeat.  
'Lincoln's pretty miserable.' Jemma said quietly and Daisy's heart stopped for a moment.  
'I don't get why.' Fitz's voice was a bit ironic 'Does he feel bad? Well, he should.'  
'No, Fitz.' Jemma said 'You don't know...' she didn't finish her sentence and sighed quietly.  
'I don't know what?'  
Jemma was silent for a moment and Daisy almost yelled at her to say more. But instead she took a deep breathm, trying to steady her suddenly wildly beating heart. And after a minute Jemma finally spoke.  
'The crucial thing about our job is too keep our distance. We need to do everything to save people without... getting emotionally involved. Because feelings blur our judgement, they always do. And Lincoln...' Jemma stopped for a second and when she spoke again, there was sadness in her voice ' It became too personal for him.'  
Daisy felt like the whole world started to crumble around her, her heart beating like crazy and mouth suddenly dry.  
'So you're saying that he did the right thing?' Fitz asked and his voice was muffles in Daisy's ears.  
'He did what was the best for Daisy.' Jemma said 'And as a doctor, I'd do the same thing.'  
'But why didn't he tell her?' Fitz asked and Jemma laughed, shortly and sadly.  
'I don't know, Fitz.' she said quietly 'I guess he's been lonely too long.'

Daisy wasn't sure what was happening; her mind was clouded and her limbs were moving without her knowledge like she was drunk but she knew one thing- she had to talk to Lincoln, now, immediately. Jemma's words were screaming loudly in her head, and that little voice in the back of her head was shouting that he cared, he cared.  
Fitz and Jemma were talking about something else now so it wasn't a problem for Daisy to grab her coat and beanie and left the apartment quietly without them noticing.

Daisy remembered Lincoln's adress; she didn't want to but now she was glad that she kept that information in the depths of her mind. She caught a bus which was heading in the right direction, excitement buzzing in her veins.  
She didn't stop until she reached the door of his apartment. She needed to catch her breath, to calm herself a bit. She knocked, maybe a little to impatiently, and she realized that she had no idea what to say. Because what words could be used in such a situation?  
The door opened and Lincoln's eyes widened when he saw Daisy. She immediately noticed that he was tired, and a bit too pale. She looked at him and saw the same sadnedd she had almost seen before, when they had met.  
'Hi.' she said and she suddenly felt nervous, not so sure what to say or do 'Umm... can I come in?'  
'Yeah, sure.' he said after the shortest moment of silence and he stepped aside, letting her in.  
Daisy entered his apartment but instead of stoppig immediately she took a few more steps and enter a small living room. It was nice and clean, with a lot of light coming through big windows, filled with books in every free place. She noticed a picture in a frame, standing on a small table; there was Lincoln, she maybe at the age of sixteen or something; next to him, with a hand on his shoulder, was standing a small woman with bright eyes and warm smile, Lincoln's smile. Daisy realized that she was probably Lincoln's mother and she wondered briefly where was she now.  
'Is everything okay?' she hear Lincoln's voice and she turned around to look at him. He was looking unsure, watching her carefully and with concern.  
Daisy opened her mouth to say something but then she spotted that he was wearing the same shirt he had had when he had taken her to see the ocean and she suddenly forgot what she had wanted to say.  
'Hey, are you alright?' he asked, concern more visible in his face as he took a step in her direction.  
Daisy wanted to say that she was absolutely fine, she wanted to apologize, she wanted to tell him that she finally understood; but stupid tears started to block her throat and making it impossible to say anything without a threat of bursting into tears and she didn't want to cry in front of him.  
So Daisy just quickly made her way to him, took his face in her hands and kissed him.  
She didn't kiss him just because she wanted to. She kissed him because he was indeed different; she kissed him because she understood that they were sharing the same sadneed, hidden deep in their eyes; she kissed him because he was making her heart stutter and she kissed him beause he cared, he really cared, and she cared about him.  
And maybe she kissed him because they had been lonely too long.  
Lincoln hesitated but just for two seconds. Then he put his hands on her hips, gently pulling her closer and kissing her back.  
And when was no more air left between them they pulled back a little, her forehed resting against his. And then Lincoln chuckled, quietly and shortly, and that sound made her heart feel light.  
'So...' he started but didn't continue, so she glared at him to see his now serious face.  
'I'm really sorry.' Lincoln said quietly and she was already shaking her head.  
'It's okay. I understand now.' Daisy said, gently and honestly.  
'I guess you're not to only one who cares too much.' she whispered and kissed him again.


	10. i promise you don't have to be afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay guys, things are a bit crazy! I didn't have time to check the spelling but I hope you enjiy.

 

** December the 15 th 2015, 2.15pm **

 

‘You’re very cheerfull today.’ doctor May said with a smile and Daisy shrugged her shoulders, biting back the grin that almost appeared on her face.

‘I just... I feel good. Everything seems to be... better.’

‘I’m glad.’ May smiled a bit wider ‘It’s important to live your life even when the time is difficult.’

Daisy nodded and thought that she was living her life for the first time in a few good months.

She knocked to the door of Lincoln’s office and after his ‘Come in’ she entered it quickly, closing the door behind her. 

Daisy really liked the way his face lit up when he saw her. She liked his eyes; they were bright and honest, with a light shade of sadnedd and concern. And she really liked his smile, so warm and gentle, making her heart stutter.

She really, really liked him.

‘Hey there.’ she smiled and made her way to him, kissing him lightly before he had a chance of getting up from his chair.

‘Hi.’ he said quietly when she moved away a bit and she could hear smile in his voice ‘How are you feeling?’

‘I’m okay.’ Daisy assured him ‘I’ve a meeting with doctor Coulson in five minutes and I thought I’d stop by and say hi.’

‘I like the way you thinking.’

There was already something familiar in the touch of his lips on hers and she was clinging to that familiarity because it was a thing she had always wanted and this time maybe she could have it.

‘I should go.’ Daisy sighed and pulled back, ready to go.

‘Wait a second.’ Lincoln grabbed her hand, stopping her. She glared at him and noticed how he hesitated, just for a second. 

‘Do you have plans for Christmas?’

Daisy didn’t know what to say, taken off guard by his question. 

‘Not exactly.’ she finally said.

Not exactly was a right term. Daisy still had no idea what would she do for Christmas. Jemma was going to England, to have a Christmas with her grandparents and family. And Daisy knew that she wanted Fitz to go with her. But Fitz was Fitz and he didn’t want to left Daisy alone and without any help. Daisy was trying to convince him to go- she was used to lonely celebrations with Netflix and hot chocolate- buy Fitz was stubborn on this one.

‘Why you’re asking?’ 

Lincoln looked at her and after a moment he spoke, a bit of hesitation still present in his voice.

‘I’m going to visit my aunt and her family. In Miami.’

That was making sense. Lincoln had told her about his mother so Daisy wan’t surprised that he wanted to see his family. 

‘Oh.’ she said as she suddenly realized where he was going.

‘Maybe you’d like to come with me?’ he asked and her heart stopped for a moment.

It was a big quiestion, an important one. And Daisy felt like the answer could change something between them and she wasn’t sure if she wanted things too change. Because it was good, whatever it was between them. It was good and safe and she didn’t want thngs to get too complicated. She was okay with what they had but what would she do if Lincoln wanted something different? Did she want something different? Something more?

‘I’ll think about it, okay?’ she said, trying to sound normal.

‘Of course.’ Lincoln nodded and his soft smile told her that he didn’t want to push her and she felt a wave of gratitude.

‘I need to run or I’m gonna be late.’

‘Call me later, okay?’

‘Sure.’ 

Daisy’s thoughts were running in her head with an incredible speed so she didn’t notice immediately that Coulson’s smile was as happy as usual. It took her a moment to see that the smile didn’t reach his eyes and she felt a sting of worry.

‘How are you, Daisy?’ he asked, his voice calm as usual but it didn’t take the feeling that something was wrong.

‘I feel good.’ she said carefully and suddenly she was striked by a thought that caught her throat with a cold fingers of fear.

‘Have you seen my x- rays?’ she intended for her voice to be steady but it came out as a whisper instead. Coulson for sure had seen the newest x - rays which were taken only a two days earlier. She wasn’t thinking about them too much but now... she knew what she could hear and she didn’t want to hear that, not now.

‘Yes, I’ve seen them.’ doctor Coulson nodded and she saw a bit of compassion on his face ‘I’m sorry to tell you that but chemotheraphy isn’t working. We’ve to talk about the other way.’

‘You mean a surgery.’ Daisy said and her voice sounded hollow in her own ears, like it didn’t belong to her.

‘Yes.’

She was surprised that she suddenly wasn’t feeling anything. There was suddenly no fear, anything, like she was watching someone elese’s life.

‘Okay.’ the words were leaving her mouth with unfamiliar difficulty ‘When?’

Coulson seemed to be a bit suprised by her calmness.

‘You’re too weak right now, after such a long chemotheraphy. We’ve to wait till you’ll be stronger?’

‘When?’ she repeated because she needed, she needed to know.

Coulson sighed, quietly and shortly.

‘I guess the begging of January. For example’ he glarered on a calendar filled with notes ‘January the 2 nd .’ 

‘All right then.’

She started to feel again when she was in her bed, staring at the ceiling. Her feelings caught up, creating a pressure that was making her fight for every breath. The tears started running down her face and she didn’t even try to stop them; she just covered her mouth with one hand, she didn’t want Fitz to hear her sobs. She wouldn’t stand compassion in his eyes and soothing words, not this time. 

And when she was finally able to breathe again she wiped her cheeks and reached for a phone, her hand shaking a little.

‘I was starting to worry.’ Lincoln said when he picked up and her lips curled up a little ‘How was it?’

Daisy knew that he was asking about her appointment with doctor Coulson but she couldn’t find enough strength to tell him the truth.

‘I’m fine.’ she said and the silence told her that Lincoln didn’t believe her ‘I’ll tell you later, okay?’

‘Sure.’ he said softly but she knew that he was concerned.

‘I thoight about Christmas.’ she said, blinking away a single tear ‘I’d like to go to Miami. With you.’

‘Great! I’d love to have you there. Aunt Sara’s going to be delighted.’

‘Can’t wait to meet her. Listen, can I call you tommorow? I’m a bit tired.’

‘Of course, you need to rest. Sleep well.’ 

‘I will.’

Daisy had never asked for anything; she alwayd had to kick, to fight for everything. Now she had to fight for her life and she knew that she could fail at any moment. 

She didn’t know how much time she had left but she knew that she wanted to spend it with him.

 


	11. i love you like you've never felt the pain

 

** December the 22 nd 2015, 11.15am **

****

Daisy gasped quietly and squeezed Lincoln’s hand a bit harder. She was staring at the planes visible outside, her eyes wide open. There was something childish in her silhouette in that moment and Lincoln smiled softly.

‘There’s no reason to be afraid.’ he said and she turned her face to him. 

‘Yeah, we’ll just be closed in a metal box 10 kilometers above the ground.’

Lincol chuckled quietly and genty pulled Daisy closer, closing her in an embrace.

‘It’s going to be fine.’ he promised and she sighed quietly, resting her head on his shoulder.

‘I know.’ she said quietly.

It felt good, to keep her in his arms; she fit there perfectly, with her small body and slim limbs, and heart beating against his own.

_ Boarding for a flight to Miami has began at the gate number 6.  _ the voice informed firmly.

‘That’s us.’ Lincoln said and kissed Daisy’s forehead briefly ‘Ready?’

Daisy nodded and smiled slightly, following him without letting go of his hand.

When they landed in Miami the sun was already slowly hiding behind the horizon. The flight had been fine; Daisy had freaked out only a little at the beggining but after some time she had calmed down and had spent the rest of their journey glued to a window.

‘So your cousin’s gonna pick us?’ Daisy asked when they collected their luggage and headed to the meeting area. 

‘Yeah.’ Lincoln nodded and spotted that Daisy narrowed her eyes for a moment.

‘Tell me again, how many people’ll be there?’ if he didn’t know her a bit better he wouldn’t notice that sign of nervousness in her voice that she was trying to hide.

‘Aunt Sara and uncle John.’ he started counting with a smile ‘They have three childred, one of them has a husband and two kids. Oh, and I’ve heard that Connor’s bringing his fiancee.’

‘That’s a lot.’ Daisy said and Lincoln knew that she was having doubts about all of that.

‘They don’t bite. At least not after dinner.’ he said; Daisy chuckled at his words and he could say that she relaxed a bit.

They entered the waiting area and Lincoln almost immediately spotted his cousin; it was pretty impossible to miss such ginger hair and beard. And he was holding a piece of paper with  _ Lincoln and his flower _ written on it. Daisy snorted when she saw that.

‘Lincoln!’ he yelled and took a few big steps, giving him a tight hug ‘I’ve missed you, doc!’

‘I’ve missed you too.’ Lincoln said honestly ‘It’s been too long.’

After a few seconds they pulled back and Lincoln turned his head to Daisy.

‘Daisy, this is Judd. Judd, Daisy Johnson.’

‘It’s an absolutely pleasure to meet you, Daisy.’ Judd shook her hand and flashed her a grin; it was great to see how she returned the smile immediately ‘We’re been waiting for Lincoln to bring a girl since forever.’

Lincoln rolled his eyes and Daisy chuckled quietly.

‘Okay, let’s go people, I bet you’re tired. And mom can’t wait to see you.’ Judd grabbed Daisy’s bag and led them to the exit.

Aunt Sara’s eyes were a bit wet when she saw him and Lincoln felt a familiar sting in his heart. She was looking almost exactly like his mother, just with a darker hair. 

‘It’s so good to see you, honey.’ she whispered warmly when she warpped her arms around him.

‘It’s good to be here.’ he just said, because it was suddenly hard to speak.He had missed it, the feeling of being surrounded by people who loved him.

When she let him go she immediately turned her head to Daisy.

‘You must be Daisy.’ she said with a smile ‘It’s so good to meet you.’

‘You too.’ Daisy answered with a smile but Lincoln noticed that she was a bit surprised when aunt Sara hugged her too.

‘Uncle Lincoln!’ yelled someone and a second later a small figure hit Lincoln, hugging him tightly with small hands ‘I’ve missed you so, so much!’

Lincoln felt a warmness in his heart, and he smiled, putting a hand of kid’s head.

’I’ve missed you too, Noel. You got bigger! How old are you now, twelve?’

‘Yes.’ Noel raised his freckled face and grinned brightly ‘I’m in a football team and we won the last mtach and...’

‘Noel, let him breathe.’ said a feminine voice and Lincoln turned around- which was hard with Noel still glued to him- and saw Leslie, beautiful as always, with little Millie on his hands and her husband by her side. And a moment later there was everybody, drawn from a living room by a noises. There was uncle John with his loud laugh, there was Connor and his fiancee Shannon. It felt so good to see them and it was amazing to see how nice and kind they were to Daisy and how much she was smiling. 

‘Okay, guys, let them rest for a second.’ Judd said finally, smiling widely ‘Your stuff’s upstairs so you can go and change before dinner if you want.’

‘Thanks, that’d be nice.’ Daisy said and Lincoln led her upstairs to a guest room. 

‘They really don’t bite.’ she smiled.

‘Told you so.’he opened the door ‘Oh.’

He totally forgot that the guest room had only one bed. A big one, sure, but he and Daisy weren’t on that level of the relationship where sharing a bed was a normal thing.

‘I can take the...’ he started but Daisy cut him off with a roll of her eyes.

‘Shut up.’

‘Well, I just wanted to say that I’m taking the bed.’ he said and Daisy laughed. 

The dinner was absolutely great. It was noisy and happy and just filled with a feeling of being a part of a family. Lincoln was grateful that they were delicate when it was coming to Daisy’s condition; it was pretty visible that she wasn’t fully alright but no one commented that until Noel suddenly spoke ‘Are you feeling okay? You’re pale.’

Lincoln saw how Leslie opened her mouth to shut him up but Daisy was faster.

‘That’s because I’m a bit sick.’ she explained calmly.

‘But you’ll be fine, right?’ Noel insisted.

‘Yeah.’ Daisy nodded with a small smile and Noel grinned.

‘She’s an amazing girl, Lincoln.’ aunt Sara said softly when he was helping her to wach the dishes ‘And she’s good for you.’

‘I know.’ 

They were laying next to each other, their steady breaths filling the silence, their bodies close to each other under a blanket and hands touching lightly. 

He was slowly drifting to sleep when he heard her quiet voice.

‘Thank you for inviting me here.’ her voice was a bit muffled, like she was holding back tears. Lincoln understood; she had never spent Christmas like that, with a house full of people, with a family. She alway wanted that kind of warmness and care and he would do anything to give that to her. So he pulled her closer, letting her to hide her face in a fabric of his shirt and thinking that he could stay like that forever.

* * *

 

** December the 24 th 2015, 4.37pm **

****

It felt like home.

Daisy was having on of the best moments of her life; Miami was sunny and beautiful and she felt like breathing was easier there. Everything was new and facinating and alive and she just couldn’t get enough. And Lincoln’s family... it was almost scary how quickly she felt a bond with them; it was almost scary how easy it was to be with them, to talk and laugh, to tell the stories and go for a wolks.

And it was so good to see Lincoln so happy, so relaxed, with a smile not disaeppearing from his face. 

It felt like a family.

It was so new, that feeling of familiarity and safety that she was feeling. It was always her and Fitz, then Jemma. Now it was not only Lincoln but also that bunch of amazing people who were nothing but kind to her. She wondered how it was possible that she let them in so quickly; where were her walls, where was the distance she used to keep? It seemed to be gone and to be honest, she didn’t miss that at all.

Daisy was helping Sara to wash the dishes; she could still hear the voices from the living room, Noel’s excited words and Lincoln’s quiet laugh. 

‘I’m so glad that he has you.’ Sara said suddeny, taking her completely off guard. She didn’t say anything and the woman continued.

‘You know about Jenny? Lincoln’s mom?’ she asked and Daisy nodded quietly. Lincoln had told her about it and it helped her to understand him even better. 

‘He deserves to have someone who’d be there for him. He’d never say that, but I know. He’s sufferend enough and... he’s been lonely too long.’ Sara said softly and her words were echoing in Daisy’s head. She was like paralyzed, overwhelmed by a sudden realization. She felt cold starting to spread in her body, a lump forming in her throat and tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

‘Excuse me.’ she somehow managed to say and she headed upstairs as fast as she could. She closed the door to their room behind her and took one desperate breath. 

Her hands was shaking as she was throwing her clothes to her bag. 

Daisy let out a quiet sob, her shaking hands were loosing a battle with a zipper and her heart was hammering in her chest so loud she almost couldn’t hear anything else. 

She had been fooling herself all along.

She had been egoistic, she could see it now clearly and she knew exactly what she should do. What she had to do.

Lincoln deserved so much better; he deserved someone who could stay with him, always, and she knew that she couldn’t give him that. She could die, at any moment, and she didn’t want him to suffer, not because of her. She knew how much his mom’s death had shaken him, how much he still missed her and she just couldn’t put him through this, not again. 

She had to leave, let him find someone who could give him the world because if someone deserved it, it was him. 

Daisy didn’t know what exactly she was doing or what she was going to do but she knew that she couldn’t stay. But at the same time she couldn’t force her body to move, her eyes focused at that stupid bag she couldn’t close.

And then she heard how the door opened.

‘What are you doing?’ it didn’t sound like a question; Lincoln’s voice was soft and almost made her cry. She didn’t turn around to look at him, her body frozen and tensed. She heard his footsteps and a moment later he stopped right behind her, so close that she could feel his breath on her neck.

‘Daisy, look at me.’ 

She couldn’t bare the pleading tone in his voice so she turned around to meet his eyes and her heart stopped when she saw his face, so vulnerable, only a few centimetres away.

‘What are you doing?’ he asked again and she swallowed hard, trying to remind herself how to speak.

She was pretty sure that Lincoln spotted the bag on the bed but he din’t seem to be surprised at all.

‘I can’t stay.’ Daisy finally whispered, the words burning her throat like a betrayal. 

‘Why?’ he was so calm it was almost terryfing, like he know that she wouldn’t leave anyway. 

And maybe... maybe he was right.

‘I’ll probably die soon.’ she said and Lincoln flinched. He knew about the surgery and he was doing his best to convince her that it would be okay but the doubt was always there, whispering in the back of her head the words of fear ‘And I don’t want you to...’ she didn’t even know how to say it, how to explain how much he meant to her and that she woulnd’t stand to see him suffer, not because of her.

‘You know that I won’t let you go.’ Lincoln said softly and she shivered under his light gaze. 

‘Why?’ her voice was barely louder than a whisper.

He raised one hand and gently wiped a tear that was running down her cheek. 

‘Because I love you.’ Lincoln said and the whole world stopped.

She thought about their first meeting, when he had been just a kind doctor with a sadness deep in his eyes.

She thought when they had been staying on that beach, his jacket soft and warm on her shoulders.

She thought about the pain when he had handed her files to someone else.

And then Daisy kissed him, and the thought about leaving suddenly felt so wrong because that was her place, right with him, no matter for how long.

And she loved him, too.


	12. i love you 'til the sun dies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait guys, I have a terrible writer block and I'm really surprised that I managed to write this chapter. Hope you enjoy! (I enjoyed crying during writing.)

 

**December the 28 th  2015, 7 am **

 

Lincoln’s hair was incredibly messy in the morning. Daisy didn’t mind at all.

And his was sleeping on the biggest half of the bed, his long hands tangled with the sheets and her own limbs. She didn’t mind that at all either.

To be honest, she loved every bit of that because she was simply in love with him.

Of course she knew that he had some flaws but she decided that she would discover them later. Now she just wanted to look at his calm, sleeping face and to feel his heartbeat against her own.

 

It was hard to say goodbye to all of them. It was a mystery, Daisy thought, that she had spent most of her life alone and now she was feeling so close to the people she knew so little.

But suddenly it wasn’t scary at all. Because Daisy discovered that it was a good feeling, to be close with someone. That being close didn’t always mean danger but sometimes it was safety.

‘I hope you’ll visit us soon.’ aunt Sara said when she was hugging her goodbye and Daisy felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes.

‘Me too.’

* * *

 

**December the 31 st  2015, 6.35pm **

They were spending the New Year’s Eve with Fitz and Jemma, eating popcorn and watching _Star Wars_ from _A New Hope_ to _The Force Awakens._ Lincoln didn’t mind that they weren’t alone; he liked Jemma and Fitz and he understood that they wanted to spend some time with their friend. And their infinite bickering which episode was the best was quite amusing.

Daisy was sitting with her head on his shoulder, moving only if it was necessary. She was more quiet than usual but she wasn’t sad. She was calm and that was making Lincoln feel better. He had witnessed so many people breaking down right before a surgery and she was happy that Daisy was taking it so well.

But about half an hour before midnight he heard Daisy’s breathing slowed down and when he looked at her he saw that she was sleeping with one hand fisted on his shirt.

‘I think we’ll call it a night.’ he muttered quietly to Fitz who looked at them with a concern in his eyes.

‘Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah, probably just tired. I’ll take her to her room, she needs to rest.’ Lincon said as he slowly got up and wrapped his arms around Daisy ‘So... happy new year, guys.’

‘Happy new year.’ Jemma smiled warmly and Fitz nodded with a smile as well.

 

Daisy woke up when he was careffuly wrapping a blanket around her.

‘Lincoln?’ her voice was muffled when she reached to tangle her fingers with his.

‘I’m here.’ Lincoln said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Daisy didn’t say anything; she was just looking at him, eyes wide open and he thought that maybe finally fear caught up to her.

‘You’ll be alright.’ he said quietly and Daisy blinked a few times as if she wanted to stop tears from falling.

‘Can you promise me that?’ she asked, her voice quiet as a whisper and her words caused a sharp strike of pain in Lincoln’s chest. He had heard that question too many times from too many people but he had never wanted to make that promise as much as in that moment.

‘You know I can’t do this.’ he had use all his strenght to make his voice sound steady.

Daisy sighed quietly and squeezed his hand.

‘I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair.’

‘It’s okay.’ Lincoln said quietly, touching her cheek with his free hand. Daisy closed her eyes and leaned into his touch a bit. Her face relaxed and she was breathing slowly, so calm and beautiful.

It was so scary, the possibility of losing her.

And it was scary because he wasn’t sure if there was a life without her.

‘I love you.’ Lincoln said softly because he did, with all his heart, and she deserved to hear that every single day.

Daisy opened her eyes and they were warm and full of light.

‘I love you.’

Her smile was making him believe that maybe he deserved to hear that too.

 

**January the 2 nd  2016, 2.27 pm **

Lincoln was sitting by Daisy’s side, right next to her hospital bed, and his mind drifted for a moment to the days he had been spending in a hospital during his mother’s sickness. She had been so brave, so patient, so full of love on hope. And when he was looking at Daisy he could see that they were similat; both brave and stronger than they believed they could be. No mystery that he had fallen in love with Daisy.

‘Okay, everything’s ready.’ Bobbi said from a door, a small smile on her face.

Lincoln’s heart clenched slightly at her words.

‘Could you gove us a moment?’ Daisy asked ‘Just a few minutes.’

‘Sure.’ Bobbi said a moment of hesitation ‘But only a five, okay?’

‘Of course.’ Daisy smiled slightly and Bobbi disappeared.

When Lincoln turned his head to Daisy her face was serious but it couldn’t cover the vulnerability he could see in her eyes.

She took his hands into hers and looked him in the eyes as if she was making some the decision.

‘I want to say goodbye.’ she said and Lincoln’s heart dropped.

‘You don’t...’ he started but she cut him off quickly, with determination on her face.

‘I have to say something and I need you to let me say it.’

Lincoln felt tears gathering in the cornners of his eyes and he realized that he didn’t remember when was the last time he had cried.

He was so focused on worrying about Daiys’s condition that he forgot to think about himself and how it was affecting him so his own weakness surprised him. He was supposed to be strong, for her, but he realized that maybe he wasn’t strong enough for himself.

He was her strength but it seemes that at the same time she was his.

‘Thank you.’ Daisy said and her voice was soft and warm ‘Thank you for showing me that I was worth loving.’ a few tears run down her face and Lincoln suddenly didn’t know how to breathe anymore ‘Thank you for being that missing piece of myself I was always looking for.’ she was crying, but it was okay because he was crying too, because he couldn’t help himself anymore.

‘You gave me life.’ Daisy said, trying to smile from behind the tears ‘And I’m scared because I love you so much.’ her voice turned into sobs and a moment later he was pulling her close, trying to hide his tears and just wrapping his arms around her, trying to comfort her and himself.

They were just sitting like that, desprate to be close to each other as long as they could. But after a few minutes Lincoln heard Bobbi’s footsteps behind him.

‘We really need to go.’ she said softly and Daisy nodded, wiping tears off her cheeks and giving the Bobbi a shaky smile.

‘I’ll be right here whan you wake up.’ Lincoln promised and she smiled at him softly, her eyes bright and wide open.

‘I know.’

 


	13. the love is here and here to stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, so sorry for the long wait guys, I'm still pretty blocked and I don't feel to well so I'm happy that I managed to write this chapter. I didn't have time to edit but I hope you enjoy. Thank you for staying with me.

 

**January the 2nd 2016, 5.45pm**

How many times he had to wait for a surgery to end? How many times he wondered if his patient would survive? Lincoln had no idea. How many patients had he lost? Too many, far, far too many.

'Maybe you'd like something to eat?' Fitz asked him with slight concern in his voice but Lincoln just shook his head.

He was the one who always said things like that. _You're loved one is in good hands, you should get some rest, we'll inform you._ But he had been sitting on a very similar chair during his mother's surgery; he hadn't left then and he wouldn't leave now.

 

Jemma brought him a cup of tea. He took it, grateful for that little bit of heat. He needed that because everthing inside him was cold.

 

**January the 3rd 2016, 0.17am**

When a door finally opened Lincoln for a second though that he was hallucinating; but no, he saw her and he felt a tight knot twisting inside his chest.

She looked so, so fragile.

Bobbi smiled at him with a slight, tired smile and Lincoln knew. It worked out. She did it. Lincoln felt like he would faint at any moment. Relief hit him violently and all his exhaustion and fear and pressure disappeared in one second taking away all his strength. He was on the edge of collapsing on the floor, with his mind still focused on Daisy, when he felt someone's strong grip on his shoulder. He wasn't sure how it happened but suddenly he was wrapped in a blanket on one of the beds in a small resting room. He wanted to close his eyes, to sleep just for a few minutes but it felt wrong, not to be next to Daisy.

'You need to rest, Lincoln.' Jemma said softly and his eyes closed without his will.

'But...'

'I'll wake you up, I promise.'

A few seconds later he was sleeping.

 

**January the 3rd 2016, 5pm**

Lincoln knew there was no reason to panic but he couldn't stop fear from sneaking into his thoughts.

He knew that her body needed rest, needed time to regenerate, to wake up. He knew that but still he felt that knot in his chest that didn't let him breathe.

Lincoln was thanking God for her steady heartbeat, for every breath, but he would give everything to see her smile.

 

**January the 4th 2016, 11.15am**

He was losing his mind.

Lincoln didn't know what to do with himself anymore. He had promised Daisy that he would be with her all the time and he wanted to do that, he really wanted to be at her side. But watching her, laying still, without any move and without anything he could do for her- it was killing him. He had crossed the limit of exhaustion and now he was filled with nervous, painful energy that wasn't letting him sit down and wasn't letting him stand.

 

 

Doctor Coulson appeared, his smile slight and a bit tired. Lincoln's stomach immediately clenched with guilt for leaving the other man with all patients.

'How's she?' Coulson asked and Lincoln really tried to smile but he knew he failed.

'I think she's okay.' he said, trying to keep his voice calm 'But she's still not waking up.'

Coulson seemed to be a bit concerned; he knew as good as Lincoln that if she won't wake up soon... he couldn't even think about it. It wasn't an option. She would wake up, she had to.

'She'll be fine, Lincoln. She's strong.' he said and Lincoln knew that he truly believed in it.

'I'm sorry for leaving you with all patients.' he said honestly 'Maybe I could take a few rounds...'

'No way.' Coulson shook his head 'I've everything under control. You should stay here.' he looked at Lincoln and narrowed his eyes 'Or better, go home and get some sleep.'

'I can't leave her.' Lincoln said simply.

'He wouldn't be happy to see you like that.'

Lincoln knew that but he just couldn't bring himself to do anything because every decision seemed like it could affect all his life. So he decided just to sit there, watching Daisy's peaceful face and praying for her to open her eyes.

 

**January the 5th 2016, 1.13am**

Jemma entered the room with a cold fury on her face and Fitz, who was a few steps behind her with unreadable face.

'Get up.' she said and Lincoln blinked a few times until he understood what she was saying. His brain was working really, really slowly.

'No...'

'Shut up.' she hissed and grabbed his shoulder 'Stop acting like an irresponsible idiot and you're going to get yourself hurt. So get up.'

Lincoln was too shocked and too tired to fight with her so he gave up. Jemma and Fitz dragged him to a car and then to his apartment. Lincoln could sense that Jemma was pissed off so he wasn't saying anything. He knew that he shouldn't act like that; that he should think about himself, sleep, eat. But it was all stronger than him and he was so weak, so exhausted, so full of fear.

'Don't worry, man.' Fitz said with compassion when Jemma disappeared in a kitchen 'We'll wake you up if something happens.'

'I know.'

He still felt guilty that he left Daisy's side but he knew that he couldn't sit there forever. He realized that he couldn't take everything on his shoulders and expect to carry it without any problems. He was just a human, fragile and weak, and he had his limits.

 

**January the 9th 2016, 5.20pm**

It wasn't that he lost hope because he didn't.

But he finally faced the fact that maybe she wouldn't wake up.

The thought was so painful that he couldn't breathe. God, he just needed her to wake up, to smile at him and to say that she was fine. That they would be fine.

Lincoln felt tears gathering under his eyelids so he closed his eyes, trying to calm his quickened heartbeat and heavy thoughts.

Then he opened his eyes and he froze.

Daisy was looking at him, eyes wide open and slight surprise on her face.

He stared at her, not sure if he wasn't hallucinating. He had dreamed about that moment so many times and now there she was, right in front of him, awake.

'Daisy?' he could hear that his voice was filled with tears 'Can you here me?'

Daisy nodded silently.

'Where am I?' she asked with difficulty and his heart clenched.

'You're in a hospital. Do you remember why?'

Daisy closed her eyes for a moment and Lincoln took a deep breathe before asking a next question 'Do you remember who I am?' he was prying to God for her to remember.

She looked at him with focus but he saw disappointment in her eyes.

'I'm sorry.' she whispered and Lincoln could tears filling her eyes. 'I don't...'

It hurt. It hurt almost as much as seeing her unconscious and helpless but in a different way.

Lincoln knew that amnesia wasn't such a rare thing after a surgery like that. It would pass, probably, but it hurt, it hurt do much to see her confused, to hear that she had no idea who he was.

'It's okay.' he said with difficulty. He was always a shitty liar.

'Who are you? Are you a doctor?'

Lincoln could hear how much she wanted to hear the answer. What should he say? Throw at her all the truth about their love? Tell her everything since the beginning? Lincoln didn't have enough strength to do it in that moment, he just couldn't.

'Yeah, I am.'

 


	14. i love you like i've never been afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys guys guys, I know that this chapter is short (as always) but it's easier for me to write. Hope you don't mind! (And I found out I'm terrible at writing emotions but oh well, this is how I roll. Hope you enjoy!) Thank you for staying with me!

 

** January the 9 th 2016, 5.25pm **

****

Somethig was wrong. Something was terribly, awfully wrong, Daisy could sense that. She could see that, written on that guy’s face, visible in his bright eyes. But at the same time her mind was clouded with a pulsing pain in the back of her head. There was just too much questions, to many black holes where her memory should be. It was scary and frustrating and suddenly she felt panic growing up in her chest.

‘What happened to me?’ she managed to ask, her throat and mouth dry ‘Why am I here?’

There wasn’t enough air for her too breathe.

The guy immediately noticed that something was happening because a second later he was touching her hand with his eyes filled with something that wasn’t just concern.

‘I can’t...’

‘Daisy, focuse on breathing. Look at me, okay? In and out, in and out.’

She did as he said and after a moment her throat wasn’t blocked anymore and she was able to inhaled the air again.

When she calmed down she looked at him again. She noticed that he wasn’t wearing an apron. He was a doctor, he should wear one, rirght? And he knew her name. And he was looking at her and she couldn’t get rid of the feeling that there was so much more to him that he had told her.

Daisy had so much questions, so much doubts. Why was she in a hospital? Why her head hurt so much? And why he was looking at her with such an endless sadness in his eyes? Why she had a feeling that not remebering him was the worst thing in the universe?

She was about to ask but then she saw a familiar face at the door and her heart clenched in her chest.

‘Jemma!’

Jemma was there so everything would be fine.

Her friend’s face lit up when she saw Daisy.

‘You’re awake! Thank God, we were starting getting worried.’ Jemma rushed to Daisy’s side and took her hand ‘Lincoln, why didn’t you let me know?’

‘She woke up a few minutes ago.’ he said, his voice distant, and Daisy froze for a second.

Lincoln.

There was something familiar in that name, something hidden just under a surface but she couldn’t trace that thought, it was slipping away with her every try.

Funny, but when she heard his name she suddenly saw the ocean.

‘What happened, Jemma? Why am I here?’

Jemma’s eyes widened and her smile faded. She gave Lincoln a concerned look and then she looked at Daisy again.

‘You don’t remember?’

Daisy shook her head. She shifted a bit in her bed so she was now sitting, not caring about a pain in her skull.

‘No, Jemma, I can’t... I don’t know...’ she felt tears gathering in the corners of her eyes so she blinked a few times to stop them from falling.

‘Okay.’ Jemma again glared at Lincoln and Daisy was under an impression that he was feeling lost. But why?

‘What’s the last thing you remember?’

Daisy closed her eyes for a moment, focusing.

‘Your birthday party.’ she said finally, eyes still closed, images flashing in front of her ‘I had and awful headache and...’

A sudden memory hit her and she opened her eyes to look at Jemma, filled with sudden fear.

‘I’ve cancer.’

She remebered; it was blurred and muffled but she remember a doctor with emotionless eyes, telling her that she had only a few months. She felt heavy pressure in her chest, not letting her breathe again.

‘Jemma...’

‘It’s okay Daisy, it’s all okay.’ Jemma squeezed her hand ‘You had an operation, they removed the tumor.’

‘Oh.’ Daisy managed to say weakly. The world started spinning around her so she lowered herself a bit, resting her head on a pillow ‘Why can’t I remember the last few months?’ she asked and she noticed that Lincoln shivered at her words. 

‘You had a brain surgery, Daisy. Amnesia isn’t something unsual in that case.’ Jemma said with a reassuring smile. 

‘But I’ll remember everything?’ Daisy asked, fear creeping into her mind. 

‘I think so.’ Jemma smiled softly ‘But you need some time. Now I’ll check if everything’s righ, okay?’

‘Sure.’ Daisy said, feeling much better. Jemma knew what she was saying, she just had to be patient ‘Anyway, I don’t think something important happened during these few months, right?’ she said lightly, trying to show that everythig was fine.

Lincoln made a strange sound, something between a sob and a laughter. And when Daisy turned her face to him he looked like she just slapped him.

‘Lincoln...’ Jemma said quietly, looking at him with worry but he shook his head quickly, his eyes still focused on Daisy, still filled with something she couldn’t understand.

‘I’m sorry.’ he said, quietly and softly, and then almost ran away.

Daisy blinked a few times, confused. What the hell was happening? Why was he acting like that? 

‘Jemma, what...’ she started but Jemma cut her off.

‘I’ll call your doctor, okay?’ she said quickly, shooting a nervous glare at the door ‘He knows your case better and he’ll know which tests are needed...’

‘So this Lincoln isn’t my doctor?’ Daisy asked, feeling utterly lost and confused. If he wasn’t her doctor the what was he doing next to her bed? Why was he so shaken? And why his name felt so familiar when she was saying it?

‘Just... stay here, okay?’ Jemma gave her a pale smile and rushed off. 

It took Daust a while to get up from her bed, ignoring pain and her weakened limbs. She needed to know what was happening, now.

Luckily for her, the day seemed to be pretty busy because no one paid any attention to her. Doctors and nurses were running around but nobody stopped her, nobody asked what was she doing. Good for her. 

Daisy knew that wandering around hospital fifteen minutes after waking up from a coma wasn’t the wisest thing to do but she just couldn’t stop herself. Because there was something, something hidden in the back of her head, something she couldn’t reach. But she needed to, she needed to. She somehow felt that Jemma and Lincoln weren’t telling her everything and was determined to find out the truth. 

There was that anxiety, deep next to her heart, that didn’t let her stop.

Of course her luck couldn’t last forever.

‘Excuse me, can I help you?’ an older nurse with tired eyes asked her, gently putting a hand on her elbow.

‘Yes, thank you. I just needed to take a short walk.’ Daisy tried to give the nurse her most charming smile. She hoped it worked, she probably looked like death itself. The nurse smiled back, a bit suspiciously but nicely. 

’Actually, I’m looking for doctor Simmons, could you show me a way?’ Daisy asked sweetly and the woman seemed to relax a little. 

‘That door.’ she ponited and gave Daisy a warm look ‘You sure you’re okay, sweetheart?’

‘Yes, thank you.’ 

Surprisingly, the door was opened, only a few inches but still. Daisy was reasy to open them when she heard Jemma’s voice and she froze.

...you should talk to her, Lincoln.’ Daisy heard and she suddenly remembered sitting in a plane. It was a short image and Daisy blinked, surprised at the sudden memory.

‘And what should I tell her?’ Lincoln’s voice was rough and tired and Daisy’s heart clenched for no reason.

They were silent for a moment and Daisy had a sudden feeling of deja vu. She had been in a smilar position, overhearing a conversation about herself. God, it was so messed up, so mixed. She just wanted to know the truth, to get rid of that sinking feeling in her chest. 

‘Jemma, what should I do?’ Lincoln asked quietly and Daisy thought that they way he had said that could break her heart a little. 

And then a thought appeared in her mind, a breathtaking, overwhelming idea that would explain everything.

‘I can’t just tell her that she’s supposed to love me because she doesn’t remember me and that means that...’

The whole world started spinning and the last thing Daisy saw before passing out was the sun grazing surface of the ocean.

 


	15. lay your head on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I really pushed myself to write this chapter. I know it's probably not as good as it should be but I still hope you enjoy, I'm explaining myself in the end notes. 
> 
> (I was like 'Screw it all, my babies deserve all happy endings in the world.)

 

** January the 10 th 2016, 1.15pm **

Lincoln stopped in front of a door and took a deep breath. His heart was beating so fast he was actually scared it would break his ribs.

They had found Daisy a day before, unconcious, at the door to Jemma’s office. Luckily it was only because of exhaustion and her weakened body; all tests had given goo results and now Daisy was awake, waiting for him. 

‘She wants to see you.’ Jemma had said softly and Lincoln knew by the look in her eyes that Daisy still didn’t remember him.

He knew that amnesia could last a few hours, days, months. Or she could never get those memories back, memories of him. Some part of Lincoln wanted to turn around and run away, to curl up in his bed and wait it off, sleep until it’s all over. But he couldn’t do that because he had promised that he wouldn’t leave her. They were in this together, no matter what would happen. So Lincoln pushed the door carefully and entered the room. 

Daisy was sitting on her bed, still a bit too pale but beautiful as always. Her eyes widened a bit when she saw him but she didn’t say anything. Lincoln noticed that her fists were curled on the hem of a blanket and his heart clenched sligtly at this sight. He slowly made hos way to the bed and sat down on a chair, not as close as he would like but he knew that he should give her space.

It took Daisy a long moment before she finally spoke.

‘I’ve heard you talking with Jemma.’ she said quietly, not looking him in the eyes and Lincoln’s heart dropped although he wasn’t surprised. 

‘I know you’re confused.’ he said gently but it sounded wrong. But what else could he say?

‘I just...’ Daisy took a shaky breath and she finslly looked at him and God, everything was aching him to touch her. But he didn’t.

‘Is it true?’

‘What?’

‘That you love me?’

‘Yes. I do.’ Lincoln said simply, trying to ignore the pain spreading in his chest. 

Daisy looked at him and Lincoln knew her good enough to see that she was on the verge of crying. 

‘I’m sorry.’ she said with difficulty, her voice trembling with tears.

‘It’s not your fault.’ Lincoln said softly ‘It’s okay.’

Daisy shook her head and one tear ran down her cheek. 

Lincoln carefully reached out and covered her hand with his palm.

‘It’ll come back to you.’ 

‘And what if it won’t?’ she asked quietly, her eyes blurred with tears.

Lincoln did his best to smile where everything he wanted to do was scream.

‘Then I’ll have a lifetime to make you fall in love with me again.’

* * *

** January the 10 th 2016, 1.45pm  **

****

‘Then I’ll have a lifetime to make you fall in love with me again.’

Lincoln’s voice was soft and Daisy almost burst into tears.

What had she done to deserve him? And what had he done to crash the walls she was always building up around her? She didn’t know that but at the same time he was making her feel safe. There was that familiarity, that softness that was making her feel warm inside.

And when she was looking at him she wanted to remember everything; they first meeting, first kiss, the moment when she realized she loved him. Because when she was looking at him all she could see was the man who loved her with all his heart and she wanted to be the girl he had fallen in love with.

** January the 13 th 2016, 9.50 am **

****

Daisy opened her eyes violently, trying to catch her breath as the sudden revelation shook her. 

It was suddenly all so clear, so sharp, so alive in her mind. Her memories, her... She jumped off the bed, didn’t care of her worn out pyjamas and bare feet, and she rushed to a corridor, pushed by an overwhelming feeling of happiness. 

Lincoln raised his eyebrows in surprise when he saw her, running toward him in the middle of the corrindor.

‘Daisy, what are...’ he didn’t finish because he was cut off by Daisy, pressing her lips to his.

God, it was so good to do that, to feel that.

After the shortest moment of hesitation Lincoln wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back and she would be fine with staying like that forever. 

But then, after the whole eternity or just a blink of an eye, Daisy had to pull back and she heard people clapping their hands around them. Patients, nurses, doctors- they were all smiling and laughing and Daisy just couldn’t help but grin, looking into Lincoln’s bright eyes. 

‘I love you.’ she said quickly because she had a feeling that she had to make up for that terrible time she hadn’t remembered that ‘I love you, I love you, I...’

That time he cut her off.

** March the 15 th 2016, 7.20am **

Daisy loved how Lincoln’s hair looked in the morning, so messy and bright from the sun shining through a window. And he loved how his face lookes, so calm, young, peaceful.

‘I can feel you’re staring.’ Lincoln muttered without opening his eyes and Daisy chuckled, hiding her face in a pillow.

It was all going so good. Her results were good and she was feeling stronger and stronger with every single day. 

She had to fall asleep for a moment because suddenly she was woken up by Lincoln pressing a soft kissed to her forehead, nose and lips.

‘This is so much worde than staring, I’m going to report you.’ Daisy murmured and wrapped her arms around him.

** June the 19 th 2016, 3.30pm **

****

Daisy glared at her relfection in a mirror; she looked good. Maybe still a bit too skinny but not so pale as she used to so she didn’t look like a ghost in her white dress. 

‘You look beautiful, Daisy.’ Jemma said and Daisy gave her a smile.

She had never believed that she would marry someone but there she was, in a white dress and flowers in her hand, just about to marry the love of her life.

They had been through so much, too much for their young lifes. But she loved him and he loved her and no matter what happened she wanted to be with him.

‘Till the death do us part.’

‘Till the death do us part.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, this is it. I delivered this chapter only because I wrote it during a very boring lecture before watching the season finale. I hope you're doing better than me because I have to admit that I'm a bit shaken. I just can't believe what happened. And for now I need a little break from writing static quake stories for you- I'm emotional and I don't want to cry too much and my exams are coming so I hope you understand. But I'll be back for sure, writing some happy pieces for you. Thank you for all your kinds comments and kudos, I couldn't do that without you.  
> You can talk to me on tumbl, I'm whydidyouflyaway (oh God how it sounds after watching the episode)  
> Stay strong my friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Love you all :)


End file.
